Ro James: Last Time

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It’s Freaky Friday the 13th and instead of being all spooked because of the day, let’s talk about the talented Ro James and his latest single release since 2018, “Last Time”. This song is nothing short of sexy. Now, if you’ve been following my instagram for awhile then you already know I met him a few years ago around my birthday for a Private Meet & Greet in Macon, GA when he released “Permission”.

I’m a huge fan of his music and voice. The song starts off with a sample of Usher’s 2004 “Can U Handle It” and you’re automatically drawn into the song. He then ask ” Tell me when’s the last time he noticed all your efforts, told you that you lookin’ good today baby, tell me when’s the last time, he told you that he wants you and he’s happy that he made you his lady?”. As his sultry voices continues to question you and have you questioning your relationship status, you melt just a little more.

Listen

Nola, Kela?

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So I have literally been missing BUT very much in action the last few months. I was promoted with my company and relocated to New Orleans a few months ago. I’ve been learning my new role, adapting to the minor culture shock, enjoying the food and learning my surroundings. It has had it’s challenges but the free spirit in me has always been able to adapt to change.

I’ve always been a small town girl with city girl dreams so when the opportunity was presented to me I went for it! I’ve lived in a few major cities and what I can say about New Orleans is that it has it’s own unique flair. I cannot wait to share with you all the next journey of my life here.

Stay tuned!

Taceaux Loceaux

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This sunday I opted for one of my personal favorites for lunch… Mexican Food! I swung by Taceux Loceaux at 737 Octavia Street in New Orleans. This colorful spot not only has beautiful artwork painted on the walls, but the menu is filled with flavorful options for the pickiest taco lover. The owner recommended the Seoul Man which had Bugolgi Chicken and the Brisket taco. I also tried the Avocado Fries which may be my new favorite snack!

I also had to try the Hibiscus Margarita as they make their own Hibiscus Tea in-house so trying the Margarita was a must.

If you can’t make it into the restaurant don’t fret. They do have a food truck that you can monitor their instagram for their location around town!

Wolf Creek Plantation: Tasting Room

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Last month I had an opportunity to visit Wolf Creek Plantation in Americus, GA. I work in corporate america and my job, like most people’s job, is super stressful. I decided to grab a few friends and make it a girl’s day trip. Nothing sounds more relaxing than wine, laughter, and a group of girls who just want to have fun, Yes, that was me typing out Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Want to Have Fun”.

We had the chance to taste about six of the locally grown wines! All of the wines were delicious to me. I picked up the Sweet Southern Peach, Number 9 Sweet Red Wine, and the Colony Thirteen Red wine which is a dry wine.

Schedule your wine tasting or visit the vineyard. You will not be disappointed. If you enjoy muscadine wines and want to visit somewhere in Georgia that has a locally grown vineyard, Wine Creek Plantation is your destination.

I’m Sorry

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I’m sorry! Let me be perfectly honest with you. I don’t accept “I’m sorry” as an apology. Jaded much? The reality of those words to me is that it simply isn’t genuine. You ever have someone do something that was extremely foul and they say that they are sorry but there is no emotion behind the words? They force their words upon you yet have no remorse. It’s more of a here take this only because it’s probably the right thing to do type of apology. It’s usually wrapped in a “I’m sorry that you…” as if you were the one who did something wrong.

I think of I’m sorry in this way: is the apology to benefit you or someone else? If the answer is not the latter than uttering those words makes your apology empty and worthless. I had a boyfriend who would apologize for doing the same thing over and over. For me, changed behavior and true self-reflection was always more meaningful. For him, his repetitively negative behavior followed with a routine apology was acceptable.

Please do not misunderstand me. I do think that apologies are needed. If you mess up, allow yourself to be human. Be in the moment, be free of excuses and blame. Be cautious of your tone. Make eye contact. Take responsibility. Learn from the situation and be understanding or know that those apologies are falling on deaf ears.

Expecting You in Others

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I’ve been seeing memes on social media where people have been posting about having to stop expecting “you” from people. I am in agreement with that because when people don’t behave in a way that we would we are immediately upset, hurt, and unable to fathom how they do the opposite of what we would do.

Here you go again. Setting those expectations that everyone is as considerate as you, as sincere, as loving, and that you can rely on them. Disappointed… again? Another birthday passed in which none of your loved ones attempted to make sure you were celebrated. Somehow you only assumed that when you tailored their birthday gifts to fit them perfectly or changed your plans to attend their at minimum mandatory $50 birthday dinner that they would do the same.Did you stay on the phone to listen to your friend tell you all about how her man has cheated for the fifteenth time and how her job is so stressful but has never asked you how you were doing one time in the forty-seven minute phone call? Better yet, are you the dependable one that everyone ask for money when they are short but never ask you if you need anything?

Expecting you from others is exhausting. We wonder why everyone can’t do the simple things that they would want to be done to them or for them. Is it too complicated or is it only a complication when we have to put forth action that doesn’t reward us? I do believe in doing things out of the kindness of your heart with no expectation of receiving anything. This prevents one from feeling overwhelmed and used. Give what you can afford and don’t give what you can’t: love, time, energy, etc.

Dear Girl of the Absentee Father

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Understand that you have done absolutely nothing wrong. Your existence is no accident. Whatever his reasoning for not showing up in your life is no fault of your own. When we understand that we cannot control others actions we allow ourselves freedom to let go of guilt we carry for their lack of involvement.

I know that it gets tough this time of year around Father’s Day. Everyone is declaring how amazing their fathers are and you’re wondering if you could’ve done something to change his behavior. If you could’ve done something to make him see you. See you for who you are and want to actively be that hero you waited to tuck you back into bed when you had nightmares. He wasn’t. He may never be that father that you wanted. Guess what sis, it’s okay. You’re going to be just fine.

I ask you not to fall into that space of having Daddy Issues. It’s not worth it in the end. Trust me. That guy may not love you who reminds you of the gentle glimpses you saw of your father. That guy who is emotionally/physically/sexually abusive to you is not your project to fix. You’re worthy of so much more. You are not your childhood circumstances. You are not a victim. You are wonderfully made and deserving of the utmost respect, honor and love. Remember that love come first from within and you will attract it.

As I speak to you I speak to myself. Daughter of divorced parents. Father who chose himself in every way possible. Being from a small town and living less than ten minutes from someone who chooses not to show up in your life is hard. It makes your heart cold and distrustful. One thing I learned from his absenteeism is that you can either become bitter or better. So from bitterness and mistakes, I am on a life transit of becoming better by forgiving myself for carrying someone else’s load. You should as well.

Meet Justin: Breaking Color Barriers Diving the Deep Blue Sea

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It’s crazy to me that we (African Americans) will host a pool party but no one gets into the pool. If they do get in, they have to be able to stand. Or we will plan a day at the beach but won’t go and get into the water. It’s the old stereotype….Black people don’t swim. Well call me a unicorn! I’m something you don’t see every day. Not only do I swim like a fish, I love to swim with them. I am black man that scuba dives. It’s kind of crazy at times when I think about it. Often times getting on a boat or going on a dive trip I’m the only one like me there. Getting all the stares and puzzled looks, but when I’m in the water it’s a whole different world. No cell phones, no technology, no social media. It feels great to be at peace and at one with nature.

Floating along 80 feet beneath the surface weightless watching as turtles, barracudas, goliath groupers and sharks swim right by. Yes, I said sharks. I know what you’re thinking; but you are wrong. Last year only 5 people in the US died of shark related injuries and not one of them was a scuba diver. Here is a secret for you: Sharks hate bubbles lol.

More and more celebrities that you know are catching on and breaking barriers. Will Smith took his whole family diving, Lil Duval is living his best life while diving and the Great Tiger Woods not only scuba dives but spearfishes as well.

It’s always been something I’ve wanted to do. I loved it so much that I want others to experience it as well. I am currently one certification away from becoming a dive instructor. It is my hope to start diving program for kids who are gaining interest in marine biology.

By the way I’m not the only one. I started a small (as of right now) dive club called Unicorns of Diving. Though small in number, we are growing every week as people see us together. We get quite a stare wherever we go, but love to show off our skills and show belong as well.

Follow Justin’s journey on Instagram here

Cantu’s Secret Garden

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This past sunday I got invited to an intimate gathering of beauty influencers at the chic 433 Bishop Event Venue in Atlanta. The super cute event had flirtsy drinks, delicious bites, an area to make flower hair pieces and a panel discussing transitioning to natural hair.

Blogger Melissa Cantey, also known as Melissachanel hosted the panel with Lexiwiththecurls and Fabolous Bre. We got to hear their experiences as naturals who transitioned instead of big chopping as well as their favorite Cantu products.

  • Pictured with Melissa Chanel
  • Pictured with Fellow Bloggers Trina of The Baby Shopaholic and Alexis of LexiWithTheCurls

This line is pronounced Tex-ture and is salon-inspired with a foundation in conditioning, The line is lightweight, hydrates the hair, soothes dry scalp, and helps to minimize split ends.

So I was feeling cute and in theme to the Secret Garden. Check out my look:

Bohemian Faux Locs

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I love simple and quick styles that I can get up in the morning and go. I decided to do Bohemian Faux Locs because they literally speak to my inner spirit. The hippie in me rejoices in the carefree look. I absolutely love anything that doesn’t make me look like the next person. Don’t fit in, stick out!

Picture Hair Goddess Lisa Bonet standing in front of you.

I have always been influenced by her style. Super bohemian chic and I am here for it! So I purchased hair from my local beauty store of course to recreate my own version of this look.

  • Bobbi Boss Bae Locs

I initially purchased 6 packs of hair in 20″ in the hues 1B and 27. I later purchased 2 additional packs to add more length. This was so easy. I honestly wish i had recorded a tutorial of it on my YouTube channel. I will do this look again this summer so the opportunity is still possible.

I started with clean hair and began at the nape of my neck and begin sectioning the hair to start my locs. I first began with twisting my hair as if I were doing a two strand twist and then braided the hair down and twisted the ends. I untwisted the crotched locs from the ends and placed it to the side. I used a crotchet hook and using the tip of the crotched loc (similar to process of doing crothcet styles ) pulled the hair through my twisted roots. At this point you should have the two pieces of crotchet loc hair and your own hair, I put my hair with one of the pieces of crotched hair and wrapped the remaining piece around them in same manner of doing faux locs. Whenever I wanted to add length, I would untwist a crotched loc and tie it into a knot around the loc i had created and repeat the process.

Have you tried faux locs?