I was recently asked what my love language was from a friend. Simple question. But I sat in silence because I wasn’t sure if they were asking as in dating or as in friendships. My friend usually ask me for dating advice. Yes me! By the way, I give great advice. My dating life… well that’s another post for another day. I decided to think about this question proposed to me on a level of how I interact with my friends rather than in dating.

The Five Love Languages: Words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time and physical touch. I’ve always tried my best to be that friend that pours into a friendship instead of draining it. Here are my thoughts on trying to make sure you are using love languages in your friendships.

Affirmations

Sometimes a simple thank you for listening to me vent is a good start. Listen, I get it. I understand. Life can be so stressful and sometimes you want to run to that friend or call them and tell them about everything bad that’s going on in your life. But is that all you’re doing? Are you only telling them when things are wrong? Do you even ask what’s going on in their life?

I’ve had many talks with friends who I’ve felt were either draining, inconsistent, or let’s just be honest, not good friends. It’s a hard talk. It’s one of those talks where you feel like you’re breaking up with your significant other or if you’re deciding if you want to make it work. It’s worth it.

Gifts/Acts of Service

It’s the thought that counts. Nothing says thinking of you more than receiving something minor that you absolutely love. You know your friend likes the Avocolada smoothie from Tropical Smoothie. Go get it. You heard them mention how much they liked the new Fenty Stunna Lip Paint you were wearing then go and pick it up for them. They will know how much you’ve actually been listening to them.

Quality Time/Physical Touch

So in friendships I am combining these two love languages. We all get busy with our daily tasks. Make time to spend with your friends. I calendar in time with people who are important to me. Send your friends a text and ask if they are available on a particular date at a certain time. This is a better alternative than the elusive statement “we should hang out soon or get drinks sometime”. You’re actually setting up an appointment and it helps you to stick with seeing them.

Understand that just in your dating life that your individual friendships will have certain love languages that they prefer. My friendship love language is quality time.